Have you ever encountered a friend or family member who tells you to relax your mind and stop worrying? Don’t you just love that? Telling someone to relax or stop worrying is like telling someone who is allergic to stop being allergic.
Everybody is different in terms of how they handle their emotions. Some of us are more nervous than others and it is just a part of our genetic makeup. However, we certainly do have options to get out of this genetic makeup, change our focus and perception, and truly learn to relax your mind and stop worrying.
For some of us, being relaxed is easy, and it is a learned behavior for others. That is the beauty of relaxing – if you do not know how you can learn. It may take some trial and effort, but it certainly is a learnable characteristic.
With time and practice you, too, can just relax.
What is stress?
Our mind is very agile. In one instance, the mind is here, and in another instance, it is somewhere else. One moment, your mind is thinking about your family or loved one, and in the next instance, it is focused on work deadlines. One moment, it is giving you a positive feeling, and in another moment, you are feeling down. Your thoughts define your state of mind. If your thoughts are positive (seeing and doing good to others), you are in a positive state of mind and feel good. If you have negative thoughts (hatred, blame, cheating), your mind is restless, and you may feel stressed.
Feeling stressed is a state of mind where you are filled with negative emotions – blame, cheating, hatred, anger, etc. People often say that my boss makes me upset or my spouse is the root cause of my unhappiness, or my friends are causing tension in my life, but the reality is that it the person himself that is making him/her upset. People are upset because they are not capable of controlling their state of mind. The mind is like a big ocean where a small drop of emotion can cause a big ripple of waves. You can either get caught in that big wave or learn to stay calm for the big wave to pass for another still moment.
How To Relax Your Mind?
Once you have decided to incorporate relaxation into your life, the next step is to take action. If inner peace seems elusive and unattainable, far away or unreal you aren’t alone. Most of us feel that way at one time or another. Part of your self-improvement plan can be to learn how to achieve inner peace. It will be a skill that will help you throughout life. You will be calm during times of stress and during situations that need your immediate attention.
Let look at the steps you can take.
1. Simplify
Keeping your life simple will contribute to your inner peace because it directs your energy to a single point. Toss out everything that holds you back. That includes friends and acquaintances who drain you and, in return, give you nothing. Remember quality over quantity. Keep it simple; stay focused.
2. Be in the Present
The only time that really matters is the present because it’s the only time that really exists. You have no control over the future, nor can you predict it. So focus on what you do have control over – the present. This one quote I find very uplifting. It is taken from none other than the famous Kung-Fu Panda movie where Master Oogway says,
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery. Today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.
Master Oogway, Kung-Fu-Panda Movie
Live in the present. Make the best of your present. Be positive. Don’t spend your present in negativism but create hundreds and thousands of happy moments, and these moments will then become happy memories. These happy memories will lead to eternal bliss.
3. Express Your Gratitude
Take a minute to recognize just how fortunate you are. Your mind may have a tendency to wander and desire something different. But consider this – more than 80 percent of the world lives on less than $10 a day. Where do you fit into this? Chances are in comparison you are living like a King. Your mind is your worst enemy. Remember, should you get what you desire, you’ll only be desiring something else soon. So be grateful for what you have.
4. Smile
Smile – it can do wonders for your spirit and for the spirit of others. It can soften hearts and change moods. Smiling is connected to love. You can’t smile and be angry or jealous at the same time. Smiling makes you feel calm, happy and loved.
5. Meditate
Books, and CDs are available for you to begin your learning journey.
If yoga is your choice of relaxation, then purchase the mat and get meditation music. Even go all out and buy yourself a yoga outfit.
One of the most important tools to gather, however, is the tool of time. Schedule your relaxation session and let everyone know that you are not to be disturbed. If your family wants a happy you, then they need to respect that space. If staying home and trying to relax proves to be fruitless, join a yoga or meditation class.
It is very important to create a time, a space, and a place for your relaxation technique. Choose a designated spot, perhaps in your bedroom where you can close the rest of the world out.
Make a small corner of that room available for your yoga mat, something serene to look at on the wall, and maybe even some candles (jasmine and sandalwood are my personal favorite). This action will speak volumes to you, as it will allow you to commit to the art and act of relaxation.
We have some courses on meditation as well – The Art of Medication (video course), Mindful Meditation (video course).
6. This too Shall Pass
Everything that comes will pass. Time is generous and indifferent. What is dark today may be glorious tomorrow. Everything perishes – everyone perishes. Nothing is forever. Time will heal the deepest wounds. Since whatever is going on today will pass, sometimes the best solution is simply to let it go. Tomorrow is another day – a fresh start.
Why worry?
In one of my blogs, I discussed how to feel calm when feeling stressed. I mentioned Dalai Lama’s quote, which I find very inspiring:
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
Basically, do not worry!
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